PSA01 : Carnival

A young boy gets lost at a carnival checking out a shooting tent and bumps into Alpine, who confuses the boy with "mi mi mi mi" noises, in a sendup of the poor animation of characters' speaking mouths. Alpine quickly says "Ah, I'm just kiddin' witcha" as the boy's friends return and ask, "Hey man, who's that weird dude you're talking to, bro?" The boy awkwardly says to Alpine, "My friends are here, oh cool, s-s-see you later." Alpine's face then strains as he farts.

PSA02 : Nosebleed

Some children are playing American football. One of them is tackled roughly to the ground. He discovers that his nose is bleeding and asks for someone to take him to the hospital. Footloose shadows over the boys and says authoritatively, "Nice catch, blanco niņo, but too bad your ass got saaaaaaaaaaacked," and violently tackles the boy to the ground.

PSA03 : Body Massage

Two boys on bikes stop in front of a downed live wire on the road. One suggests that they 'launch' over it. Roadblock approaches and asks, to nobody in particular, "Who wants a body massage?" He casts the wire away as he sings softly to himself ("Mr. Body Massage Machine...go!"). One of the boys then asks "Eeeeeh, what the hell?" Roadblock proudly responds, "Body massage!"

PSA04 : Fire on your sleeve

Two boys are camping. When putting more logs on the campfire, one of the boys' sleeves catches fire. Spirit runs in speaking in a non-existent, American Indian-like language. He wraps the boy in a blanket and rolls him on the ground for an excessively long time. Spirit lectures the boy again in his strange language. The other boy asks, "You didn't take anything out of our tent, did ya?" Spirit gives an answer (once again in vernacular) and gives a slight nod.

PSA05 : Get that kid off my ice

Three boys race onto a frozen lake, the first one crying, "Last one there's a penis pump!", while the other two attempt to catch up, shouting "that's not fair!" over each other (a theme which continues throughout this PSA). The first boy slides on the ice and then slips, cracking it. While the other two attempt to walk out to rescue the boy, Snow Job approaches on skis. The two boys ask for help, but Snow Job launches a foul-mouthed tirade at them in a Cockney accent:

"Hey, what the fuck are you kids doing on my fucking lawn? And don't look at me when I'm fucking talking to you. Get that kid off my ice, you little wankers!"

When the children reach out with a stick, Snow Job approves ("Give him the stick!"), then disapproves ("Don't give him the stick!"). When they reply to him simultaneously with two contradictory statements ("We're sorry" and "Do you know my dad?"), Snow Job sings a loud "Oh" note in a bass-baritone voice.

PSA06 : Kids fry

Two children are awoken by a smoke alarm. They approach the door but Barbeque arrives at the window, letting out a series of bizarre static noises. He opens his palm towards one of the kids and releases an energy pulse, disintegrating the child. The other boy looks at Barbeque in bewilderment, and succumbs to the same fate.

PSA07 : Porkchop Sandwiches

Two seemingly mentally retarded children are in a kitchen. The first boy says "yu naaahh cooging" (or "You don't know how to cook anything") and the second replies "ya doo" (or "Yeah I do"). The curtains in front of the stove catch on fire and the boy operating the stove tries to say the word "fire" but only stutters it instead saying something along the lines of "bah baah bababababa". Blowtorch runs in, shouting "Porkchop Sandwiches!" (This line is one of the most frequently quoted by fans, and Fensler still sells T-shirts sporting the phrase.) He arrives at the kitchen door and in a panic-ridden voice orders the children to "Oh shit, get the fuck outta here! What are you doing? Go, get the fuck out of here, you stupid idiot! Fuck, we're all dead! Get the fuck out!" Outside he tells them, "My God, did that smell good!" prompting a stream of gibberish from one of the boys. One of the boys says "Detective did-id no goin' and you tell me do things, I done, run and...". This is met with a stare towards the camera of Blowtorch, followed by a closeup of that same stare.

PSA08 : Shieee...

A boy showing off on the edge of a cliff falls into the sea, screaming "shiiiiii(t)" as the cliff crumbles beneath him. The PSA cuts off abruptly at this point lasting only nine seconds in total.

PSA09 : 1,2,3 Errrr...

Kids playing baseball get into a heated argument. Cutter (apparently drunk) arrives and challenges one of the boys to what seems to be a burping contest (they're actually seeing who can do the creaking noise you can make by exhaling very slowly longer). After a brief demurral the boy obliges. After about 32 seconds of "errrrr" noises from both the boy concedes defeat but Cutter continues in a trance-like state for another 40-50 seconds until the PSA ends, with an excessively long final note on the chorus of "G. I. Joooooooooooooe..."

PSA10 : Reggae

A boy and a girl high on medicine cabinet drugs go into the bathroom to get some more, the boy saying "yeah, we should totally hit it again but I get first dibs on it." Doc appears in the window singing the Reggae song, "Inna de Bus" by artist Professor Nuts. The boy joins in until it ends. Doc repeats the phrase "Sunshine dey yah, a time fi di bus ride" in a Rude boy style throughout the song.

PSA11 : Israeli Jet Fighters

Kids playing soccer attack the goalkeeper for conceeding. Flint approaches and gives the kids a bewildering account of the day's international news ("Fighting broke out overnight along the Israeli-Syrian border"). The team scores and while celebrating Flint returns and his news report continues on a loop.

PSA12 : Car Accident

While riding a bike without a light two boys narrowly avoid an accident with Dusty's jeep. He crashes and runs over to the boys with helicopter noises in the background, bellowing a butch "Game over YEAAH!" to the boys.

PSA13 : The Pink Purse

A boy talking in ebonics jumps a gap at a building site and a sound effect plays, presumably because the pit shown is far to big for a child to jump across without supernatural assistance. After completing the gap he tells his companion "It's just easy to step, just flip it, stick it, and see you later bye!" The young girl is hesitant to do the same ("I don't know if you can do that"). Lady Jane approaches and asks them if they've seen a "pink, I wanna say, vinyl purse" lying around, as she is "just dying to get my cigarettes". Strange music begins to play and the boy says "What're you talkin' about ain't nobody seen your...", the pitch of his voice becomes very deep and he says "Daaaaamn." It alternates between extremely low and normal pitch as he says "What?" and moans. The girl develops a telekinetic ability and slows down time, saying "Baah!". Lady Jane produces a weak smile.

PSA14 : I Just Wanna Ride My Motorcycle

A boy named Aaron is being talked to by his father off-screen, who is attempting to give important life advice to the boy. He talks at breakneck speed, and when Aaron fails to pay attention, his father drives off annoyed. The monologue is as follows:

"Now you listen to me, Aaron. You don't blow your money on those comic books, you understand? They don't do you a damned bit of good. And the nude mags, you're gonna be inheriting mine when you're 16 anyway. Now look, the junk food and the candy just rots your teeth and gives you bad breath and the girls run like hell. Stay the hell away from buying any rock TV shirts, or hip hop gear, or anything like that. Arcade games - pick one that you can do, okay? ONE that you can do as opposed to a whole bunch of them that you don't know what the hell you're doing. Techno music just puts a hole in your brain--are you listening to me? Look at me when I'm talking to you!"

At this point, Wild Bill approaches on a motorcycle. He treats Aaron and Aaron's friend (whose shirt changes colour from yellow to red, as well as changing ethnicity) to a confusing, tone-deaf and completely non sequitur rendition of Arlo Guthrie's Motorcycle Song.

PSA15 : Help Computer

A boy approaches a dog to pet it but it turns violent. Mutt arrives and says "Hey kid, I'm a computer! Stop all the downloadin'!" The dog leaves. Mutt puts his hands on the boys shoulders and asks him to "Help computer." The boy explains that he doesn't know much about computers "other than the one we got at my house," and Mutt, apparently annoyed, replies by speaking like an evil robot.

PSA16 : Swimming

Two kids are swimming in a lake but a thunderstorm develops. One kid gets out but the other stays in. Deep Six rises from the water, surprising the boy who's still in the water ("Oh yosh!") and shepherds him onto land. The boys are terrified as Deep Six's protection suit gives him muffled speech so it is impossible to understand what he is saying. One of the boys asks, "are you in the Army?" Lightning strikes the water and the second boy says, "if I had been in that water... dead."

PSA17 : I Wanna Get In the Fridge Too

Kids who are playing truant hang around an abandoned refrigerator. Recondo (with an Australian accent) is keeping tabs of them. He has a psychotic episode and shuts one of them in the fridge. One other kid asks if he can go in the fridge too. Recondo's manic laughter ends the PSA.

PSA18 : Pimp

A blind boy and his friends are out walking in the country. The blind boy (with the help of his white cane and glasses) is acting like a stereotypical pimp to the annoyance of his friends, who tell him,"Brian, you ain't no pimp, dude!" Spirit approaches them, speaking in an American Indian language. The blind boy finds a cat in a hollow log. A girl says that "it's been a wonderful experience here with the Indian."

PSA19 : Fire Alarm

Starts with the scene of a house on fire. A boy challenges a boy to push a fire alarm saying, "Bet you won't push that button, bitch." He does. Barbeque approaches them, making the same noises he makes in "Kids Fry," and takes off his helmet. He says "hey guys, you know it's funny. People go to sleep, they think everything's fine, everything's good. They wake up the next day and they're on fire."

PSA20 : Dockside Bars

Two boys have a race through a park. One takes a nearby bicycle to cheat. Shipwreck stops them both, says, "I believe I knew your mother, son," and asks a series of questions implying that he is the boy's long-lost father. He asks if his mother still hangs out "at dockside bars."

PSA21 : Water Skiing

A child is waterskiing. She quickly falls off. Scarlett approaches and the child enthusiastically says, "My turn! My turn!". She then takes off on the water skis. Scarlett watches on and hums a tune, which develops into a scat singing improvisation session.

PSA22 : Mr. Laffitti

Some kids are skateboarding in a roller park. Gung Ho approaches with a girl he calls Susie. He acts with a flamboyant homosexual stereotype telling the girl, "Don't forget the saaaandwiches that I made yooou." The boys approach him and he starts to make suggestive comments about them and their outfits, such as, "Look at all your different colored hats!"

PSA23 : Japanese

This PSA is in Japanese. Kids are making a treehouse. One of them falls but Quick Kick arrives just in time to catch him. A conversation in Japanese takes place, but it has little relevance (when translated) to the incidents in the PSA. The closing chorus is sung in Japanese ("Gee wara tashi fu sukuru!").

PSA24 : Buzz Lightyear

Two boys on a boat are arguing. One makes an insult about the other's mother and is promptly knocked off the boat whilst not wearing a lifejacket. Deep Six arrives in a submersible boat and drags the boy to safety. Deep Six, still speaking in a muffled falsetto through his diving mask, tries to lecture the boys. One of them asks, "Hey, aren't you Buzz Lightyear?", and another whispers "I love your movie." Deep Six gets noticeably angry about this comparison.

PSA25 : Dance

A girl turns to a boy and says "fuckin' old school". The boy in turn faints but it is edited to appear as if he is break dancing within a large group of children. A house beat plays throughout. Airtight appears and says (over the music) "Damn... these beats are so fresh... snap!"